OFFICE ROMANCE
She sat on the grassy slope, her fingers playing with mud - encrusted pebbles as she watched the card pass by below. The wind tousled her hair as her mind wandered off to the events of the past month when she had first come here and been introduced to Jason Tan.
It was hate at first sight, for she hated the way he talked, his attitude towards the fairer sex, towards life in general, and she hated his friends. She took him to be irresponsible, egoistic and too self - assured, however, she had to work with him as she needed his support for her plans to be carried out.
They lunch together, talked about her plans, her life, her ambitions. She wanted to know more about him, but all he ever talked about was his relationship that had gone sour, and by the way he talked, she knew that for him it would never be over or forgotten.
Somehow, it changed her opinion of him. The reasons for his stupid attitudes were showing. To her dismay, she found that a few lunches later, she began to feel jealous of the girl who was the constant subject of his conversations. It irritated her, she took it as a warning sign meaning that if she were to see more of him, she would probably fall for him, and that was the last thing she needed or wanted. Yet, she knew that she had to see him, mainly because she had to work with him, partly because she was challenging herself to see if she could withstand falling in love with him or not.
She could not.
The weeks that followed were filled with sweetness and happiness. He, who was two years younger than her, showed her what dull, old - maid kind of life she had been leading. He made her feel younger, more energetic, and with him she could forget the problems that were beginning to crop up at work. In being with him, she lost her friends, for they disapproved of him, but she did not care for he taught her how to take life easier, to look at the bright side of things and she began to enjoy living. With him, her life was vibrant with colour.
She remembered their telephone conversations, their evening strolls, the times when every word, every gesture had meant so much to her. For the first time in her life, she had felt contented, living as though seeing life through a pink veil that showed only the bright side and gave the illusion that the dark shadows looming in the background were non-existent.
Yet they existed, and waited only for the right time to destroy her when she would have no strength to fight against them.
Then the time came when she began to doubt him. She frantically scratched around in his past, led the conversation to the topic of his former love. Was he still in love with that girl ? Did she herself belong in his life at all ? ... ... She felt DRIVEN to find the answers to her questions, forced him to answer them, tried to force him to forget the past. His best friend finally admitted, under torture, that Jason had cried when the OTHER one had left him. Proof enough that he would cry forever unless she took him back. She discovered that girls's picture in his wallet and tore it to pieces as if she could wipe out the pass that way. He declining performance at work didn't make her life easier.
Suddenly he distanced himself from her, asked for a month's time to sort out his feelings. She knew she'd find it hard to stay away so long but she also knew that she was losing him and hoped to avoid it by giving hem time off on his own.
There was chaos in her mind. She needed someone to talk to but there was no one now that she had lost her friends.
She befriended Andreas, cracked jokes with him; it cheered her up and made her forget her troubles for a while. She also wanted to arouse Jason's jealousy, which worked - at first. She had not counted on the efficiency of the other colleagues in spreading vicious lies about her and Andreas. To preserve peace, happily married Andreas distanced himself form her, leaving her on her own again.
In Sinclair, she found someone whom she could relate all her problems to. He believed in her, his pep talk lasted one long lunch and made him miss a meeting and left her feeling confident. Not for long, as the news about her being seen with him spread through the office like a wildfire.
She was desperate for a sympathetic ear, it affected her judgement of character, and when she met Allan, her feeling of mistrust vanished too soon; she told him personal things which he later spread and used against her besides saying she had taken a special interest in him. On finding this out, her condition deteriorated, she became a nervous wreck who ate no - thing, slept to little, drank too much coffee and ruined her health in other ways.
There was no one to cling to but Jeff, the black sheep of the Company but it did her no good and hurt her image even more.
When she found out from Johnny that she had been considered for a promotion until getting involved with Jason and the deterioration of the standard of her work and the rumours of her 'flightiness' were damaging her own as well as the Company's image and than she was in danger of getting the sack, she was devastated, the last remaining walls of hope and self confidence crumbled. Now that the veil had been lifted, there were only darkness and shadows in her life.
On the day that Jason's month was up, she tried calling him, unsuccessfully for the first half dozen times, dreading the conversations, knowing it would be the last. When she finally got through, she was surprised to hear his voice at it's normal tone and started hoping again, but he dashed it by telling her that after all the thinking he had done, he had found that she did not suit him, besides, he had found someone who did.
It was THAT simple for him to wipe out everything, just by saying that they hadn't really shared anything and that it was nice while it lasted but now had to end. It was SO simple for him to say that, he had never given a hoot.
Now she asked herself, 'How was I to know things would turn out this way ?' but knew that it was stupid to hide behind this classic excuse, for deep down inside she had known the outcome even before the beginning, yet she had given herself to the illusion that everything would be fine. Knowing that she could have had a chance to keep him had she acted differ - entirely, she tried to acknowledge that it was partly her fault.
'I blew it,' she said, an undeniable fact but an insight she could not face, for she knew that she alone would have to pick up the pieces of her shattered dreams and reconstruct her life - without him.'
Without HIM !!!
How bleak it sounded, scary even, because she would have to face him and work with him every day for the next two years and had no idea how she would and should react to his presence.
The wind blew stronger and colder, bringing with it the smell of the moist earth and rain. All of a sudden, the sky changed from a vivid orange streaked with yellow to a dark, gloomy, greyish blue. There was no more colour in the world around her, just as there was none in her life now.
TJ LSA2
It was hate at first sight, for she hated the way he talked, his attitude towards the fairer sex, towards life in general, and she hated his friends. She took him to be irresponsible, egoistic and too self - assured, however, she had to work with him as she needed his support for her plans to be carried out.
They lunch together, talked about her plans, her life, her ambitions. She wanted to know more about him, but all he ever talked about was his relationship that had gone sour, and by the way he talked, she knew that for him it would never be over or forgotten.
Somehow, it changed her opinion of him. The reasons for his stupid attitudes were showing. To her dismay, she found that a few lunches later, she began to feel jealous of the girl who was the constant subject of his conversations. It irritated her, she took it as a warning sign meaning that if she were to see more of him, she would probably fall for him, and that was the last thing she needed or wanted. Yet, she knew that she had to see him, mainly because she had to work with him, partly because she was challenging herself to see if she could withstand falling in love with him or not.
She could not.
The weeks that followed were filled with sweetness and happiness. He, who was two years younger than her, showed her what dull, old - maid kind of life she had been leading. He made her feel younger, more energetic, and with him she could forget the problems that were beginning to crop up at work. In being with him, she lost her friends, for they disapproved of him, but she did not care for he taught her how to take life easier, to look at the bright side of things and she began to enjoy living. With him, her life was vibrant with colour.
She remembered their telephone conversations, their evening strolls, the times when every word, every gesture had meant so much to her. For the first time in her life, she had felt contented, living as though seeing life through a pink veil that showed only the bright side and gave the illusion that the dark shadows looming in the background were non-existent.
Yet they existed, and waited only for the right time to destroy her when she would have no strength to fight against them.
Then the time came when she began to doubt him. She frantically scratched around in his past, led the conversation to the topic of his former love. Was he still in love with that girl ? Did she herself belong in his life at all ? ... ... She felt DRIVEN to find the answers to her questions, forced him to answer them, tried to force him to forget the past. His best friend finally admitted, under torture, that Jason had cried when the OTHER one had left him. Proof enough that he would cry forever unless she took him back. She discovered that girls's picture in his wallet and tore it to pieces as if she could wipe out the pass that way. He declining performance at work didn't make her life easier.
Suddenly he distanced himself from her, asked for a month's time to sort out his feelings. She knew she'd find it hard to stay away so long but she also knew that she was losing him and hoped to avoid it by giving hem time off on his own.
There was chaos in her mind. She needed someone to talk to but there was no one now that she had lost her friends.
She befriended Andreas, cracked jokes with him; it cheered her up and made her forget her troubles for a while. She also wanted to arouse Jason's jealousy, which worked - at first. She had not counted on the efficiency of the other colleagues in spreading vicious lies about her and Andreas. To preserve peace, happily married Andreas distanced himself form her, leaving her on her own again.
In Sinclair, she found someone whom she could relate all her problems to. He believed in her, his pep talk lasted one long lunch and made him miss a meeting and left her feeling confident. Not for long, as the news about her being seen with him spread through the office like a wildfire.
She was desperate for a sympathetic ear, it affected her judgement of character, and when she met Allan, her feeling of mistrust vanished too soon; she told him personal things which he later spread and used against her besides saying she had taken a special interest in him. On finding this out, her condition deteriorated, she became a nervous wreck who ate no - thing, slept to little, drank too much coffee and ruined her health in other ways.
There was no one to cling to but Jeff, the black sheep of the Company but it did her no good and hurt her image even more.
When she found out from Johnny that she had been considered for a promotion until getting involved with Jason and the deterioration of the standard of her work and the rumours of her 'flightiness' were damaging her own as well as the Company's image and than she was in danger of getting the sack, she was devastated, the last remaining walls of hope and self confidence crumbled. Now that the veil had been lifted, there were only darkness and shadows in her life.
On the day that Jason's month was up, she tried calling him, unsuccessfully for the first half dozen times, dreading the conversations, knowing it would be the last. When she finally got through, she was surprised to hear his voice at it's normal tone and started hoping again, but he dashed it by telling her that after all the thinking he had done, he had found that she did not suit him, besides, he had found someone who did.
It was THAT simple for him to wipe out everything, just by saying that they hadn't really shared anything and that it was nice while it lasted but now had to end. It was SO simple for him to say that, he had never given a hoot.
Now she asked herself, 'How was I to know things would turn out this way ?' but knew that it was stupid to hide behind this classic excuse, for deep down inside she had known the outcome even before the beginning, yet she had given herself to the illusion that everything would be fine. Knowing that she could have had a chance to keep him had she acted differ - entirely, she tried to acknowledge that it was partly her fault.
'I blew it,' she said, an undeniable fact but an insight she could not face, for she knew that she alone would have to pick up the pieces of her shattered dreams and reconstruct her life - without him.'
Without HIM !!!
How bleak it sounded, scary even, because she would have to face him and work with him every day for the next two years and had no idea how she would and should react to his presence.
The wind blew stronger and colder, bringing with it the smell of the moist earth and rain. All of a sudden, the sky changed from a vivid orange streaked with yellow to a dark, gloomy, greyish blue. There was no more colour in the world around her, just as there was none in her life now.
TJ LSA2
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